Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Five Months

Well our little Princess is five months old! WOW where does the time go????

So lets see...

Five months old weighting in at 15 lbs this little beauty is so awesome! LOL

She makes everything better. No matter what has happened all I have to do is look at that sweet little face and instantly everything is all better.

Eviee is 97% breastfeed and 3% formula feed. YAY!!! Almost completely done with formula.

We still have not started baby food. We will start some cereal "lightly" next month but will not start baby food until she is 7 months old.

She has taken a turn for the worst with sleeping... She has always been a great sleeper but this last month she will go to bed at 930-1000 and will wake up at 100am wanting to nurse off and on for THE REST OF THE NIGHT! So needless to say mommy isn't getting much sleep anymore but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

With that being said we have started this week trying to get Eviee on a schedule at night and I have to say even though it has only been three days it is going great. Since we are breastfeeding we feed on demand and naps during the day aren't that big of a deal to schedule considering I stay home with her so we are just trying to get night time in order.

Eviee is still a little wobbly when it comes to sitting up but for the most part she has it down.

She grabs everything!!!!

She recently started crawling backwards and just this morning went forward!!! Proud momma moment!!!!

She loves to be outside!!!

She loves dogs!

She got this glow worm from my sister for Christmas and she LOVES IT! I definitely think it is her favorite toy.

I think she is 90% mamma's girl.

But she sure loves her daddy. Those little eyes just light up when she sees him.

My mother has watched her twice. First time went ok except that I could not handle it so we went and got her within two hours and this last time went bad! Eviee SCREAMED for the whole three hours! I felt so bad. As soon as we walked into the door and she was in my arms she stopped. Now of course I love that she loves her momma and that she feels safe when she is with me but at the same time this is not a good thing at all. Even if somebody is holding her a little to long she gets very upset. But when you are a stay at home mom that is just what happens.

My house is getting covered with pictures of this baby girl.We go every month and get her pics taken. Its amazing to me how fast she is growing and I don't want to miss a thing so pictures are our thing for sure!!!

She is the most loving little girl. I swear she is giving kisses. When you pick her up she will squeeze you like she is giving hugs and then will place her mouth on your cheek just for a second. Its kisses no matter what anybody says. :)

I love this little girl more then anything.

She had a wonderful first Christmas except for one thing... I totally forgot to get out the camcorder. UGHHHH I always forget that thing. Maybe next year.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The only Christmas Present I need

Last year around this time we found out that after a miscarriage and a long year of trying that we were expecting yet again. The joy you get when the pee stick says YES is just out of this world but nothing compares to the joy I have actually seeing this sweet little face everyday. I love being her mommy. 
God has blessed us with the most beautiful little girl. She is the light in my eyes. My little princess. My everything. I could not imagine life without her and am starting to forget life before her. I am so in love with this little girl.

She is a little too little to really enjoy Christmas this year but she does enjoy looking at the lights. :)

Here's a few pictures I took trying to get the perfect one for our Christmas cards that by the way will most likely not make it to everyone till after Christmas... O well :)

And after all of this our Christmas card that I have decided on I think.... We shall see

Friday, November 25, 2011

4 months old


Eviee had her four month check up which meant she got some shots. :( Let me just say that before she was born I was anti-shots and still am for the most part but thanks to a certain nurse who made me feel like a horrible mother Eviee ended up getting more shots then I had ever intended on her getting. I felt so bad. I am her mother and a damn good one at that and I should not have let that lady talk me into something I didn't want to do. Ughhhhh Anyways we are done with them as I will not let anybody talk me into to doing them again. (don't judge me until you have read and studied everything I have and seen the effects of shots first hand)

The Doctor said Eviee is Perfect which of course we already knew. :) She weighs 13 lbs and 12 oz according to their scale (a little less then ours). And is 22 and 3/4 inchs long.

 She is getting cuter by the day.

She smiles ALL the time and is giggling ALOT!!! The other day Sean was in the bedroom holding her and all I did was walk into the room and she started giggling (guess mommy is funny looking LOL).

She is grabbing everything with her little hands. We went shopping the other day and I found this stuffed puppy that I was trying to show Sean well Eviee grabbed it out of my hand and started eating it up (yes we bought it) she loves that puppy. She will just talk to that puppy all day and just "love" all over it. SO CUTE!!!!

We still have not started baby food or cereal. She still doesn't eat a whole lot but The Doctor said her weight is perfect so he isn't worried nor are we. Some babies just don't eat or in Eviee's case drink a lot but we are still gonna wait until she is a little bigger. I did however give her a few bites of sweet potato the other night and she LOVED it!!! But like I said we gonna wait a little longer.

She loves her feet!

Eviee is pretty much sleeping through the night (which she has been for awhile now) she will go to bed anywhere between 8pm and 10pm and sleep until 5am or 6am.

Eviee thinks her big brother Logan is the awesome.

She is still on both breast milk and formula.

She is just the sweetest baby ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful. This was the first year I actually had Thanksgiving at my house. And I have to say that it was pretty nice not having to go place to place. We did go see my momma who was cooking for the rest of the family but its my momma so.... :)

Christmas is right around the corner well actually a month away today. CRAZY and I am not ready for it.

Sean and I will celebrate our second Wedding anniversary!!! We have been together four years total and it gets better everyday! He truly is my soul mate. I love him with all of my heart.

Hope everyone had a wondrful Thanksgiving!!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Journey

Well let me start by saying that I haven't been trying to hard to loose weight as I said in my last post. I cant drop too much or else I will not be able to get The Band. With that being said I finally got on the scale and I have lost a total of 7lbs. This isn't as great as I had hoped but it is what my Doctor wanted so....

All that I have left to do is just wait for the insurance company to approve and them I'm all set to go.

Praying this will happen before Christmas....

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

3 Months old

Weighing in at 14 lbs, smiling like crazy, talking up a storm, rolling from front to back and yes this sweet little 3 1/2 month old is sitting up!!!!!

My little girl is getting so big. I still can not believe how fast she is growing. It truly does make me sad. I am with her every single day, all day and yet I feel like I am going to miss something. Time needs to slow down a bit.

Eviee is fixing to be 4 months old, and so that brings on the big "BABY FOOD" question. When will we start feeding Eviee baby food. Well that answer is.... When I feel like she is ready for it. I have worked in daycare for years and have taken care of many babies over my life time and I don't think that just because she is 4 months old that it means she should be eating baby food. A baby 6 months and under should get almost all of their nutreients from breast milk and or formula and right now we are still doing both. Eviee will either nurse for 30 mins or she will have a 4 oz bottle and she is good for 3 hours. So I really just don't feel like we need to throw food in their just yet!

When the time comes Sean and I have decided that we want Eviee to eat organic. We ourselves eat as much as possible and hope to go 100 % one day but its kinda hard living where we do. But it will be super easy to feed Eviee all organic. We also would like to make her food as much as we can and I am happy to say that I have gotten started on this. Considering now is the best time for (most) fruits and veggies I bought some organic apples. I have peeled and frozen them so they are ready to be made into baby food when the time comes!!!!

I have too say that I have always been one of those girls who had their hair and makeup done no matter what but when you become a stay at home mom why???? I mean really. I just love those moms who get up in the morning and actually "put themselves together" with no place to go, but sadly I am not one of those moms. Or at least right now I'm not. I would much rather lay in bed cuddling with my baby or laying on the floor playing and talking to her then to leave her all alone while I "get ready". I'm not saying that I don't ever put makeup on or do my hair, I do when I have somewhere to go but to just stay at home NO! So you will see lots and lots of pictures where I don't look so great but guess what I'm the happiest I have ever been and that's all that matters to me. I have a beautiful baby and a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what.
Eviee is just the happiest baby. Every morning she wakes up with a smile on her face and let me just tell you, it melts my heart!!! That is the sweetest smile I have ever seen. And what makes that smile even better is when she just laying on the floor or whatever and she see's you and smiles OMG amazing!!!! I love this little girl so very much!
Halloween just passed, we didn't do much just had some family come over and passed out candy to all the kiddos. I have to admit that Halloween just isn't one of my fave holidays so honestly I didn't really give a whole lot of thought to what Eviee was going to be. I did come up with a few things but they always fell through for one reason or another (size or money or something) so I just decided that she would be a butterfly THE DAY OF Halloween!!! Ha my sister and I were at the mall and saw a little girl about Eviee's age that was dressed up like a butterfly and it was the cutest thing so that's what we went for.
And too bed she goes still dressed for Halloween! HA! I did take the bow off before. But a girls gotta have her bows on most of the time. LOL
I am enjoying being a mommy so much and am looking forward to all the new things she will be doing. She is the love of my life and I am so blessed to have her.

My Journey

I know this is a day late but when you have a baby things just are not always on time. :)

I cant seem to make myself get on the scale so I cant update you on my progress or lack of but I have made a promise to myself that I will get on it Monday morning so I will update then.

I did however go have the one on one meeting with the psychologist yesterday afternoon to discuss my test results. Good news I'm not crazy LOL!!!! I pass the test so now I am just simply waiting on the Doctors office to call me with a surgery date!!! I'm starting to get really excited about it. I'm sure come the day of I will be more scared then happy but today I'M HAPPY!!!

Some of you may be wondering why I'm not trying harder to loose weight right now well the thing is that my insurance requires you to have a BMI of 40 or higher. I am at a 46 or at least I was the last time I weigh in. My Doctor told me at first to loose 14 lbs before he would do it and then the day of my scope he told me to only loose 7 lbs. If I were to loose 15 lbs then my BMI would be a 39 and my insurance would no longer cover me. So it is important for me to loose weight yes but I have to be careful at this point in time not to loose to much.

Until next Monday....

Monday, October 31, 2011

My Journey

Well last Wednesday I went had the scope ran. Every went ok I guess well ok meaning I didn't die!!! LOL (NO SERIOUSLY I WAS WORRIED) Anyways the did however discover the I have a hyrnina. I had no idea. I never had any pain but anyways my Doctor said it was nothing to worry about and that he can fix it when he goes in to place "The Band".

So as of my last post I said I lost 7 lbs well according to their scale I had only lost 4! ERRR damn Doctor scales they freaking suck!!!!  After talking with my Doctor he has decided to go ahead and let me get The Band put on after I have lost 7 lbs. So as of today this morning on my scale... I've got 1 1/2 to go.

Time is counting down and I am starting to get really excited! I'm ready for the new me.

Monday, October 24, 2011

My Journey

After loosing one grandmother to diabetes and watching another go through life with it, I decided that I did  not want to be the next one in my family. That I was going to do something to lower my risk.  Ive done diet after diet and after years of failing at them I start researching "The Lap Band".

My husband and I went to a seminar about "The Lap Band" and I was completely sold!!! I walked out of the seminar that night and was determined that I was going to get this done. I went and meant with the Doctor one on one and still was sold.

Then I started thinking about all of the things that could go wrong and then wasn't so sold anymore. I'm not doing this to be skinny! (I'm not gonna lie and say that it wouldn't be nice but I just want to be healthy). And was it worth it to go under "the knife" to loose weight??? This was in the back of my mind for a while but I am happy to say that after a lot of thinking and speeching with my husband I have decided to go thought with it.

After being on Vacation for four days I have decided not to weigh in. :) I didn't do bad but............

Wednesday morning i go to have the scoop done and I'm sure they will weigh me before so ill let you know.

Monday, October 17, 2011

My Journey

Well since my last post I have lost another 3 pounds! Making 7 pounds total!!!

I am still considering whether or not I will have The Band done. The last two days I have been a little better with the discussion to go through with it, but I'm not sold.

I am actually considering asking my Doctor if he will preform it while I am awake. You know like they do when you have a c-section. I figure if they can cut you open and take out a baby while you are awake then why can't they cut you open and put a band around your stomach.

I am going to call the office and see if I can get in as soon as we get back from Texas so that I can talk to him a little bit more and ask about doing it while I am awake.

 Until next Monday...

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Whats going on

Just some random things that have been going on...

Still deciding on The Lap Band....

Leaving for Texas in a few days and I can not wait! It has been forever since I went on Vacation and this will not only make Eviee's first, but it will also make the first for Sean and I together. We have been on little road trips but not an actual Vacation. Some places we are going while we're in Texas are...

The Beach in Galveston
Moody Gardens in Galveston (It's three glass pyramids each with it's own theme).
Baybrook Mall in Houston (THREE STORY MALL!!!!) (This is will be my highlight I'm sure LOL)
The Galleria Mall in Houston (Another hugh mall)

And Sean is going to take me and show me where he grew up. Come on Wednesday!!!

Eviee's hair is also turning red!!! Or at least it's red in some lighting like mine but it sure is cute!!!!!

Eviee laughed out loud this past week for the first time while she was awake!!! She has laughed a few times while she was sleeping but not while awake. I was putting her in her car seat and said something to her her and she just started giggling. Then Wed. night Sean was helping his mom cover her pool and she thought that was the funnest thing she had ever seen!!!! She laughed FOREVER!!!! Yes I did get it recorded! LOL

Eviee also has learned to roll her self over. She has only done it once and no mommy didn't get to see it :(
She was laying down for a nap (on her back) and when she woke up Sean went in there to get her and came back asking if I had laid her on her belly, (sigh) I wish I could have seen it but it'll happen again and mommy will be ready with the camcorder!!!

My milk supply is back up. Unfortunately I had to get help with some meds from my OB but it is important to me to be able to breastfeed her and thanks to the meds she is now down to one formula bottle a day!!!!

Anyways our life is pretty clam right now THANK GOODNESS so this is all! :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Journey

As I posted last Monday my Doctor told me that I must loose 14 lbs before he will do the surgery. Well I'm happy to report that I have lost 4 lbs!!!!! YAY!!!! Just 10 to go.

What Ive been eating ...

Breakfast: Light and fit yogurt with Grape nut flakes and Coffee (I will never give up coffee just saying)
Snack: 100 cal pks & Water
Lunch: Salad & Diet Dr Pepper
Snack: 100 cal pks & Water
Dinner: Salad &Water

Four pounds is good!!!

We are leaving for Texas in eight days so I am hoping to loose another four pounds before we go and then the rest before the end of the month.

I have to say that I have started getting really scared about having this done.

I am one of those people who always think the worst is going to happen. I mean seriously, it's sad but true and I cant help but think that something is going to go wrong with either the scoop procedure or the surgery.(both you are put to sleep) I'm scared to death that I will not wake up from it.

I'm doing this for myself but I'm also doing this from my daughter. I want to be here to see her grow up. I want to be the mommy that runs around the play ground with her but what happens if I don't wake up???

I'm doing this so that I can be a better mommy to her but what if mommy doesn't come back?

Ive had the scoop thing done several times but when you are 16 years old the only thing you are worry about is when you can go shopping or talk to your boyfriend. But when you are 24 and you are married and have a child everything changes. I am so worried that maybe mommy is making a mistake. What if the last time I ever see my daughters face is in the waiting room at the hospital because mommy was selfish and wanted to be skinny. Is this worth it??? 

If I sit back and think about it long enough I wonder what if I get a trainer? What if I go back to weight watchers. What if I just try harder. Maybe I can loose all the weight I need to, to be healthy all by myself.

Maybe I cant go through with this.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

2 Months old

Lets see...

Thursday Eviee will be 12 weeks! Which means next Friday she will be 3 months!!!! Where has the time gone???

She is getting so big. She weighs 11 1/2 lbs and is 22 inch's long. She has finally just this last week out grown her newborn clothes. :(  Which by the way I really need to go take those clothes out of her closet. Maybe one day HA!!! Not sure that im ready to remove the Little Bitty Clothes yet. This could be the one and only time I ever have newborn clothes in my house so maybe they will stay for a while, the child does have two closets so its not like were missing the space.... hummm well see. :)


 She is smiling ALL THE TIME! And "talking" oh my goodness she has the sweetest little voice. This morning she sat on her daddy's lap just "talking away" it was the cutest thing. Definitely a camcorder moment ;) I expect she will be "giggling" any day now and I can not wait!!!!

She is starting to really recognize mommy's and daddy's voice. This morning I was in the kitchen getting coffee and I said something to Sean and man she turned her head looking for me. LOVE IT!!!!

Not sure if I have blogged about this before or not but Eviee started out strictly on breast milk but we noticed that she was pooping non-stop. Seriously like 18 times in one day. And had really bad gas and was getting dehydrated. Being as I had to be on soy milk as a baby I decided that we would try it for a week and see if things got better. And they did. But being the person I am, and knowing that the  breast milk is so much better for her I decided to try half and half for a couple of days. She did fine on that. So after a couple of days of this I decided to try nursing her all day and see what happens (I hated giving her formula and wanted to make sure that the breast milk was really the problem and not just some bug or something before we make formula a must) well same result! She pooped all day and had really bad gas and just didn't seem so well. So back to half and half. (Well we would do either half and half or I would nurse her one feeding and then five her a formula bottle the next feeding) During this time I couldn't help but feel so bad that I was giving her formula. Really like I would cry about it. I wanted what was best for my baby and had made up my mind before she got her that we would do breast milk and breast milk only so long as my body would make it. One day I decided to call and talk with her Doctor about this and he said it sounded to him like she was Lactose and Tolerate. He suggest that since she seemed to do fine on half and half to continue to with it. That any breast milk is better then none. But he also suggest that they every couple of weeks I should try and nurse her for the day and see if it's not just maybe her "GUT" hasn't developed enough. So about three weeks ago I did. I nursed her for days and she had no problems AT ALL!!!! YAY!!! (We did however give her two-four formula bottles a day just to make sure she wouldn't get dehydrated or anything) I guess it was her "GUT" and not a lactose problem. Thank goodness.

The only problem is that now my milk seems to be trying to dry up! Ladies do not listen to everything you read or everything people tell you. Just because you are nursing often and or pumping doesn't mean that your body will continue to make milk!!! Ive been breastfeeding for almost 3 months now and Eviee is almost off formula all together which means she is now nursing a lot more and my milk is now trying to go away. I have heard this happening to a lot of women. I heard of a lady who's milk went away after strictly nursing for 7 months!!!! Anyways so now I am nursing Eviee every time she seems hungry (usually about every three hours) but am having to top off with formula bottles again because she is not getting enough breast milk. I am also pumping in between her feedings. I am taking a natural supplement that is suppose to help with your milk supply too.I am doing everything you are supposed to do and yet I havent seen any good results. My milk doesnt seem to be "growing".  I am praying that my milk does not go away and that I can produce enough milk to take Eviee off formula altogether. Now that I know she can handle it breast feeding is what I really want to do. We are going to Texas the 19th and I would love nothing more then to go without bottles and without formula!!!! Pray for me please LOL

On another note Eviee got really bad sick this week. We had X-rays done and everything. Turns out it was just a really bad cold. Thank goodness! But my poor baby she has been running a fever for days now off and on and her little nose is running like crazy and she is coughing alot. Being that she is only two months old I did not think they would give her any meds but our wonderful doctor did!!! We love him!!! It does seem to be helping her. Hopefully we can get her all better by Texas time!!!! I also started her on Aloe Vera Juice which is great for allergies and sinus problems (along with alot of other benifits). It truely does work wonders and im hopeing after she gets over all this junk that the aloe juice and breast milk will keep her healthy!  Ha speeching of Aloe juice in the mornings Ive been makeing her what I like to call "Power bottles" lol its three once's of breast milk and one once of aloe juice. LOL.

Halloween is coming up and everybody keeps asking me what Eviee is going to be...well I cant make up my mind so when I decide I will let you know!

O yea, more pictures to come. We go Friday to get her 12 week pictures!!! I'm so excited!!!!

OK well I think had more to say but I've been kinda rambling on so well stop here. Have a great day!!!

Monday, October 3, 2011

My Journey

OK so Thursday I went and saw my Lap Band Doctor. I got GREAT news! My insurance is going to cover the surgery 100%!!! How amazing is that, gotta love haveing two insurance's. Anyways they will cover all of it but their are some things they require first....

You must have a BMI of 30 or above (Mines 46.6)
You must have at least six months of dieting under the care of a professional such as an MD, Weight Watchers,etc.... (Weight Watchers for me)
And the last one which sucks so freaking bad... Psych evaluation.

The reason for the BMI is well basically they want to make sure your fat enough LOL no really that's what it is. You have to be so much over weight.

The six months of dieting under a professional is because they want to make sure that you have tried other methods before and that you are not using this as a easy way out.

And the evaluation well when The Lap Band came out that was the requirement for everybody. Now it just depends on your insurance. And mine while they are paying 100% they still suck! They want to make sure that you are committed to changing as The Lap Band is a tool to teach you. I just hope they don't discover that I'm really an insane crazy person!!!! ;) LOL if they do discover this I WILL give them the names of the men that made me this way LMAO!!!!!

So October 26 I will have the scope done (NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS). I have had this done some many times its insane.
And October 31 I go for my evaluation (Pray for me)

O yea and my doctor wants me to loose 14lbs before he will do it. This is because when you loose weight your liver shrinks and is supposed to make it easier on your body during suregrey. So Once I loose the 14lbs and the doctor gets all of my results back on everything then I will have my surgery.

Im going to do my best and loose the weight by the end of the month so that I can have it done before Thanksgiving. That is my goal the only problem is .... I'm going on Vacation the 19th of October. Hummm

I am so excited and can not wait to change my life. I am excited for all of the changes that will come with having this done. It truely will give me a whole new life.

Monday, September 26, 2011

My journey...

OK so after reading a lot of my friends blogs and seeing them so open about their weight and their journey to loose it, I have decided to open up, spill the beans, and be 100% honest about my weight and my journey to loose weight and become healthy. I am going to dedicate Mondays to this.... I'm scared! I have never been completely honest with ANYBODY about my weight and how I feel but I'm going to change this starting now. This is the start of my life changing journey...

Today Monday Sept. 26,2011 and I currently weigh (DEEP BREATH) 260lbs!  I am 24 years old and I am very much overweight. (This is very hard for me to post) My weight has always been something I have had to deal with. I remember my parents would take me to the doctor to have all kinds of test ran because I was very much an overweight child. As a child I did not eat very much. (which was why my parents took me to the doctor, they thought something was wrong), I wish I could say that now. It's not like I sit on my butt all day and clean out the cabinets or anything like that, my BIG problem is that when I do sit down and eat I eat way to much!!!

About five or six years ago I decided that I needed to change my lifestyle. I did too. I quite eating all the crap food, and started eating healthy and exercising. This worked GREAT! I dropped 50 lbs in five months I think...something like that anyways. I felt great and for me I was shinny. For me I was skinny but still to the medical community I was overweight. But I was still going strong. I was determined that I was going to keep loosing. Then... I met Sean. The love of my life!!! Well you know how it is when you start dating. You go out to eat ALL THE TIME!!! Well I have to admit for three months straight we ate out!!! And I love fried food! (What southern girl doesn't LOL) I remember the day before we went out on our first date I went shopping of course. I bought three pairs of jeans size 14! Now I know for most of you that's still FAT and yea it is but FOR ME IT WAS SKINNY!!!! I was so happy!!! Honestly could not tell you that last time I fit in a size 14. I cried in the dressing room. My hard work was paying off.

Well after three months of eating out I could no longer fit into my size 14 jeans. NOT AT ALL!!! Try a size 18!!! In three months all my hard work went right down the drain. And I wasn't too determined to jump back on the band wagon either. I was happy, and happy people eat right??? LOL Over the next year too year and a half I slowing continued to gain weight. Every couple of months I would start a new diet, do really good on it for a few weeks loose some weight and then just stop. I could loose maybe 20 lbs and that was it. So I would get sick of trying and I would gain that weight back and then some.

 I have two older sisters and a younger brother all of which are skinny. Why me??? That's what I always said to myself... Why me? The day I had my daughter I weighed (ANOTHER DEEP BREATH OK MAYBE TWO) 287 lbs!!! In under four years I gained over 100 lbs and only 53 of that was do to my pregnancy!!! Now I do have to say that two months after the birth of my baby girl I have dropped 27 lbs but once again I am at a stand still.

I remember talking to a friend one night just about how I wanted to loose weight. I think I was trying to get her to be my diet partner or something anyways I told her that I wanted to loose weight and she laughed at me. "Really she said" "but why" "you have a boyfriend". For her she just wanted "a boy" (considering we were teenagers) to like her. Well yes I had a boyfriend ive had my fair share of relationships but I didn't just want some boy to like me. I feel the same way now that I did then and that is I could care freaking less if someone likes me... I just want to like myself. Sean (my husband) he is so wonderful. He is always telling me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am and that makes me feel wonderful but what I want is too number one be healthy and number two I want to be able to look in the mirror and feel beautiful and sexy!

As I said I have been fighting this my whole life and will continue to fight this as long as I live so I have made a life changing decision. I have decided to get "The Lap Band".

The Lap Band is an adjustable silicone ring that is surgically inserted and places around the upper part of your stomach. The ring is connected by a tube to an access port just below the skin. Through this port the doctor is able to make adjustments to the band based on how tight or loose I need it. The Band will reduce my stomach capacity and restrict the amount of food I am able to eat at one time. With this band I will feel full sooner and stay full longer. All in all most people loose on average 2-4 lbs a weeks. This is a lifetime tool. I will never have to have it removed unless I want it. I will have the band around my stomach and will be able to control my eating habits for the rest of my life.

Thursday I go see my doctor, there is a scope procedure done prior to having the band put on to ensure nothing is wrong with my stomach. Once my doctor gets the results that everything is A OK then I will schedule my surgery. I am so excited and am so happy to be making this change. This time next year I will be a much lighter healthier woman able to chase my will be one year old daughter around the playground, not just sitting on the bench. I am ready!!! I am ready for this journey.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Eviee Update

Eviee... She is my dream come true as I have said before. Being a mommy is the only thing I have always known I wanted out of life. She is an absolute miracle! It still amazes me that I made her. That I brought this little person into this world. That she was growing inside me.

I have really surprised myself with her. I thought after years and years of taking care of babies that I was going to be one of those moms that doesn't worry about the little things... Washing hands before holding the baby, keeping mental notes on when she ate, pooped, and peed. Saying to myself "Has it been to long since she had a wet diaper" or "OMG she has gone four hours without eating".You know all those little things that yes they matter but I MYSELF didn't not think I would worry that much about. I was the type of person that always said "Don't wake a sleeping baby, when they get hungry they will wake up" or "It's OK if they haven't peed in three hours sometimes babies hold it like we do" but I am the exact opposite with her. She is my little angel and I am so worried that something is going to happen to her. My mom tells me all the time that if I don't calm down and just enjoy her the next thing I know she is going to be having kids of her own and I will have spent all that time worrying. But I cant help it.

 A year before we conceived Eviee I suffered a miscarriage and I still have so much pain for it that I just keep thinking she is too good to be true and something is going to happen to her. I know this is not the way to think but I think the only way you could really understand is have lost a child too. It's always in the back of your mind that something is going to happen. Eviee is a  healthy baby but she has a lactose problem which I know isn't that big of a deal but when its your baby... and she chocks alot when she is eating... but the big problem we have with her is that when she is asleep she stops breathing!!!! If you have a child who has the same problem you understand that we are a mess when she is sleeping. We have a monitor in her bed that will alarm us if she has stopped breathing and let me tell you when that thing goes off it is the worst nightmare you have ever had. My heart just drops! Now so far all it takes is for us to wiggle her a little or sometimes we have to blow in her face and then she remembers that she has to breath but I'm so scared that "what happens if it doesn't work this time" it's awful to have to worry about this.  I do not want her to grow up too fast but at the same time I will be so glad when we are past this. Thank God for The Angel Care Monitor!!!!!

But on a much lighter note Eviee is such a joy to be around. She is a very happy baby. She only cries when she is ready to eat or really tried. And speeching of being tired... She is the worst at fighting her sleep. I have never known a two month old baby to fight their sleep as much as she does. This I'm sure will be tons of fun later down the road. LOL

We love having our little girl, she is the light in our eyes! She is smiling all the time now. O how it just melts my heart when she smiles at me. Any day now she is going to start laughing and we can not wait.

She has finally started to out grow some of her newborn clothes. :( not so sure if I am happy about this or not LOL.

Sean's idea of giving Eviee a bath is for one of us to take a shower with her. I totally freaked out when he mentioned this but you know what SHE LOVED IT!!!! She is so a water baby! I'm sure a lot of people would not agree with showering with a two month old but the way I see it is, she is little, she likes it, it saves time and water LOL and it works for us. The one thing I have found out since I had Eviee is that you just have to do what works for you and your family and not worry about what everybody says. I'll even add to this just because.... I nursed her in the shower last night! HA! I'm sure you just wanted to know that but she was ready to eat and mommy was in the shower so she ate dinner and got a shower too ;) (don't judge until you've walked in my shoes, or your a mommy with a hungry baby)

Eviee is not much of a day sleeper. Sean thinks it's because she can sense that we are not sleeping so why should she??? LOL She sleeps for maybe two hours at the most all day but that makes for a sleeping baby most of the night, usually about four to five hours at a time.

Some exciting events coming up for Eviee are .... we are taking her on her first Vacation, Halloween,Thanksgiving, and of course Christmas!!! I am so excited to be able to share all of this with Eviee. I couldn't imagine life without her.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Life as I know it

My life has change so much over the last few years...
  • I went from having two jobs to being a stay at home mom.
  • What I thought was going to be a fling turned into the BEST marriage.
  • Wanting a baby so bad to having the most beautiful little girl and three step-kids.
  • Went from living in a apartment to living in a house.
  • The dreams I had four years ago are not the same dreams I have anymore.
  • From having a lot of debt to almost NONE!!!! YAY!!!!
  • I always said I would never have another dog inside and yet I have a black poodle that LIVES on my couch! HA!!!
  • Eating so many foods I would never have tried if it wasn't for my husband.
  • Never wanting to stay home too ALWAYS wanting to be home.
  • Eating out almost all week long to cooking every night.
  • Drinking orange juice when I woke up and now COFFEE.
  • Always having my nails done too well I haven't had them done in almost 12 months.
  • I never would walk out of the house without makeup on and my hair done and now the world is lucky to see a dab of makeup on my face. LOL
  • I was the kind of person that did'nt care how much I spent too now  I refuse to buy anything that isnt on sale or I have a coupon for! (This will be another post)
  • Being now after baby 100lbs heavier! :(((( ( (also a post to come)
Anyways this is my life now and I wouldn't change it for the world!!!!! Life as I know it is wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing, OK well the 100lbs could fly off and I wouldn't say a thing. LOL

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It's been awhile

OK so it's been a long time since I posted a blog so let me bring you up to date.
January I posted that I finally felt the baby move. Such an amazing feeling!!! The first of April we found out that we were having a little girl! OMG!!!! We were so excited. The first thing I did was... go shopping of course. Did you hear me say that "it's a girl" hello little girls big girls, GIRLS NEED LOTS OF CLOTHES and let me tell you what she has A LOT OF CLOTHES!!!! We decided to name her Eviee Rae. Evie was Sean's grandmothers name and I thought it was so pretty but I had to add an extra "E" to it. We have an "EE" thing in my family so it's Eviee. Rae is my grandmother,mother,and sisters middle name so Eviee Rae is her name and its has tons of meaning behind it which we love. She is named after some wonderful women and I hope one day she will be proud to carry on their names. Also in April we got a house in Greenwood. We love it! June I stopped working. I was planning on having a couple of months to finish up everything that needed to be done before Eviee came but that didn't work out as I planned. I became very swollen and by mid to end June I was put on bed rest. Not like full flown bed rest but I was told to stay off my feet at least 95% of the day. Let me just stay bed rest of any kind for somebody who is always on the go SUCKS!!! July 11 I went to my ob and found out that Eviee was breech. This I had known the whole time. Her head was always under my left rib cage. And by Wed blood pressure started to sky rocket so yep C-SECTION!!!! I'll spear you all the details but lets just say I thought I was going to die and I never intend to do it again. Yes this means I am done having kids! Eviee will be my one and only. Sean already has three other children so four kids is more then enough. I want to be able to give Eviee everything and lets face it, it's a lot easier to do that with one kid. So Thursday July 14 at 5:44 p.m. Eviee Rae Brazil was born. Weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 18 1/2 inch's long. And absolutely the most beautiful child I have ever seen!

(I know all moms say that about their kids) ;) We came home three days later and life has been so wonderful since! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing man in my life. Sean is the best husband and is the most wonderful father. And let me tell you Eviee definitely has her daddy wrapped around her little finger and I LOVE IT!

(She has me wrapped too) :) Eviee has been a wonderful baby. She is so happy and easy going. (She got that from her dad for sure lol) She is just a joy to have. Its almost like I cant remember my life before her. Eviee will be two months old tomorrow. I now know what it truly means when people say time flys by so fast. I never understood that really until they placed her in my arms. Ever since that moment I feel like months only last for weeks and weeks only last for days and days only last for minutes. "SIGH" TIME PLEASE SLOW DOWN!!!! my camera goes all day and night. I do not want to miss a moment of this sweet little girls life and I want to remember it always. Well I think that pretty well has everyone up to date until next time.