Monday, September 26, 2011

My journey...

OK so after reading a lot of my friends blogs and seeing them so open about their weight and their journey to loose it, I have decided to open up, spill the beans, and be 100% honest about my weight and my journey to loose weight and become healthy. I am going to dedicate Mondays to this.... I'm scared! I have never been completely honest with ANYBODY about my weight and how I feel but I'm going to change this starting now. This is the start of my life changing journey...

Today Monday Sept. 26,2011 and I currently weigh (DEEP BREATH) 260lbs!  I am 24 years old and I am very much overweight. (This is very hard for me to post) My weight has always been something I have had to deal with. I remember my parents would take me to the doctor to have all kinds of test ran because I was very much an overweight child. As a child I did not eat very much. (which was why my parents took me to the doctor, they thought something was wrong), I wish I could say that now. It's not like I sit on my butt all day and clean out the cabinets or anything like that, my BIG problem is that when I do sit down and eat I eat way to much!!!

About five or six years ago I decided that I needed to change my lifestyle. I did too. I quite eating all the crap food, and started eating healthy and exercising. This worked GREAT! I dropped 50 lbs in five months I think...something like that anyways. I felt great and for me I was shinny. For me I was skinny but still to the medical community I was overweight. But I was still going strong. I was determined that I was going to keep loosing. Then... I met Sean. The love of my life!!! Well you know how it is when you start dating. You go out to eat ALL THE TIME!!! Well I have to admit for three months straight we ate out!!! And I love fried food! (What southern girl doesn't LOL) I remember the day before we went out on our first date I went shopping of course. I bought three pairs of jeans size 14! Now I know for most of you that's still FAT and yea it is but FOR ME IT WAS SKINNY!!!! I was so happy!!! Honestly could not tell you that last time I fit in a size 14. I cried in the dressing room. My hard work was paying off.

Well after three months of eating out I could no longer fit into my size 14 jeans. NOT AT ALL!!! Try a size 18!!! In three months all my hard work went right down the drain. And I wasn't too determined to jump back on the band wagon either. I was happy, and happy people eat right??? LOL Over the next year too year and a half I slowing continued to gain weight. Every couple of months I would start a new diet, do really good on it for a few weeks loose some weight and then just stop. I could loose maybe 20 lbs and that was it. So I would get sick of trying and I would gain that weight back and then some.

 I have two older sisters and a younger brother all of which are skinny. Why me??? That's what I always said to myself... Why me? The day I had my daughter I weighed (ANOTHER DEEP BREATH OK MAYBE TWO) 287 lbs!!! In under four years I gained over 100 lbs and only 53 of that was do to my pregnancy!!! Now I do have to say that two months after the birth of my baby girl I have dropped 27 lbs but once again I am at a stand still.

I remember talking to a friend one night just about how I wanted to loose weight. I think I was trying to get her to be my diet partner or something anyways I told her that I wanted to loose weight and she laughed at me. "Really she said" "but why" "you have a boyfriend". For her she just wanted "a boy" (considering we were teenagers) to like her. Well yes I had a boyfriend ive had my fair share of relationships but I didn't just want some boy to like me. I feel the same way now that I did then and that is I could care freaking less if someone likes me... I just want to like myself. Sean (my husband) he is so wonderful. He is always telling me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am and that makes me feel wonderful but what I want is too number one be healthy and number two I want to be able to look in the mirror and feel beautiful and sexy!

As I said I have been fighting this my whole life and will continue to fight this as long as I live so I have made a life changing decision. I have decided to get "The Lap Band".

The Lap Band is an adjustable silicone ring that is surgically inserted and places around the upper part of your stomach. The ring is connected by a tube to an access port just below the skin. Through this port the doctor is able to make adjustments to the band based on how tight or loose I need it. The Band will reduce my stomach capacity and restrict the amount of food I am able to eat at one time. With this band I will feel full sooner and stay full longer. All in all most people loose on average 2-4 lbs a weeks. This is a lifetime tool. I will never have to have it removed unless I want it. I will have the band around my stomach and will be able to control my eating habits for the rest of my life.

Thursday I go see my doctor, there is a scope procedure done prior to having the band put on to ensure nothing is wrong with my stomach. Once my doctor gets the results that everything is A OK then I will schedule my surgery. I am so excited and am so happy to be making this change. This time next year I will be a much lighter healthier woman able to chase my will be one year old daughter around the playground, not just sitting on the bench. I am ready!!! I am ready for this journey.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Eviee Update

Eviee... She is my dream come true as I have said before. Being a mommy is the only thing I have always known I wanted out of life. She is an absolute miracle! It still amazes me that I made her. That I brought this little person into this world. That she was growing inside me.

I have really surprised myself with her. I thought after years and years of taking care of babies that I was going to be one of those moms that doesn't worry about the little things... Washing hands before holding the baby, keeping mental notes on when she ate, pooped, and peed. Saying to myself "Has it been to long since she had a wet diaper" or "OMG she has gone four hours without eating".You know all those little things that yes they matter but I MYSELF didn't not think I would worry that much about. I was the type of person that always said "Don't wake a sleeping baby, when they get hungry they will wake up" or "It's OK if they haven't peed in three hours sometimes babies hold it like we do" but I am the exact opposite with her. She is my little angel and I am so worried that something is going to happen to her. My mom tells me all the time that if I don't calm down and just enjoy her the next thing I know she is going to be having kids of her own and I will have spent all that time worrying. But I cant help it.

 A year before we conceived Eviee I suffered a miscarriage and I still have so much pain for it that I just keep thinking she is too good to be true and something is going to happen to her. I know this is not the way to think but I think the only way you could really understand is have lost a child too. It's always in the back of your mind that something is going to happen. Eviee is a  healthy baby but she has a lactose problem which I know isn't that big of a deal but when its your baby... and she chocks alot when she is eating... but the big problem we have with her is that when she is asleep she stops breathing!!!! If you have a child who has the same problem you understand that we are a mess when she is sleeping. We have a monitor in her bed that will alarm us if she has stopped breathing and let me tell you when that thing goes off it is the worst nightmare you have ever had. My heart just drops! Now so far all it takes is for us to wiggle her a little or sometimes we have to blow in her face and then she remembers that she has to breath but I'm so scared that "what happens if it doesn't work this time" it's awful to have to worry about this.  I do not want her to grow up too fast but at the same time I will be so glad when we are past this. Thank God for The Angel Care Monitor!!!!!

But on a much lighter note Eviee is such a joy to be around. She is a very happy baby. She only cries when she is ready to eat or really tried. And speeching of being tired... She is the worst at fighting her sleep. I have never known a two month old baby to fight their sleep as much as she does. This I'm sure will be tons of fun later down the road. LOL

We love having our little girl, she is the light in our eyes! She is smiling all the time now. O how it just melts my heart when she smiles at me. Any day now she is going to start laughing and we can not wait.

She has finally started to out grow some of her newborn clothes. :( not so sure if I am happy about this or not LOL.

Sean's idea of giving Eviee a bath is for one of us to take a shower with her. I totally freaked out when he mentioned this but you know what SHE LOVED IT!!!! She is so a water baby! I'm sure a lot of people would not agree with showering with a two month old but the way I see it is, she is little, she likes it, it saves time and water LOL and it works for us. The one thing I have found out since I had Eviee is that you just have to do what works for you and your family and not worry about what everybody says. I'll even add to this just because.... I nursed her in the shower last night! HA! I'm sure you just wanted to know that but she was ready to eat and mommy was in the shower so she ate dinner and got a shower too ;) (don't judge until you've walked in my shoes, or your a mommy with a hungry baby)

Eviee is not much of a day sleeper. Sean thinks it's because she can sense that we are not sleeping so why should she??? LOL She sleeps for maybe two hours at the most all day but that makes for a sleeping baby most of the night, usually about four to five hours at a time.

Some exciting events coming up for Eviee are .... we are taking her on her first Vacation, Halloween,Thanksgiving, and of course Christmas!!! I am so excited to be able to share all of this with Eviee. I couldn't imagine life without her.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Life as I know it

My life has change so much over the last few years...
  • I went from having two jobs to being a stay at home mom.
  • What I thought was going to be a fling turned into the BEST marriage.
  • Wanting a baby so bad to having the most beautiful little girl and three step-kids.
  • Went from living in a apartment to living in a house.
  • The dreams I had four years ago are not the same dreams I have anymore.
  • From having a lot of debt to almost NONE!!!! YAY!!!!
  • I always said I would never have another dog inside and yet I have a black poodle that LIVES on my couch! HA!!!
  • Eating so many foods I would never have tried if it wasn't for my husband.
  • Never wanting to stay home too ALWAYS wanting to be home.
  • Eating out almost all week long to cooking every night.
  • Drinking orange juice when I woke up and now COFFEE.
  • Always having my nails done too well I haven't had them done in almost 12 months.
  • I never would walk out of the house without makeup on and my hair done and now the world is lucky to see a dab of makeup on my face. LOL
  • I was the kind of person that did'nt care how much I spent too now  I refuse to buy anything that isnt on sale or I have a coupon for! (This will be another post)
  • Being now after baby 100lbs heavier! :(((( ( (also a post to come)
Anyways this is my life now and I wouldn't change it for the world!!!!! Life as I know it is wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing, OK well the 100lbs could fly off and I wouldn't say a thing. LOL

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It's been awhile

OK so it's been a long time since I posted a blog so let me bring you up to date.
January I posted that I finally felt the baby move. Such an amazing feeling!!! The first of April we found out that we were having a little girl! OMG!!!! We were so excited. The first thing I did was... go shopping of course. Did you hear me say that "it's a girl" hello little girls big girls, GIRLS NEED LOTS OF CLOTHES and let me tell you what she has A LOT OF CLOTHES!!!! We decided to name her Eviee Rae. Evie was Sean's grandmothers name and I thought it was so pretty but I had to add an extra "E" to it. We have an "EE" thing in my family so it's Eviee. Rae is my grandmother,mother,and sisters middle name so Eviee Rae is her name and its has tons of meaning behind it which we love. She is named after some wonderful women and I hope one day she will be proud to carry on their names. Also in April we got a house in Greenwood. We love it! June I stopped working. I was planning on having a couple of months to finish up everything that needed to be done before Eviee came but that didn't work out as I planned. I became very swollen and by mid to end June I was put on bed rest. Not like full flown bed rest but I was told to stay off my feet at least 95% of the day. Let me just stay bed rest of any kind for somebody who is always on the go SUCKS!!! July 11 I went to my ob and found out that Eviee was breech. This I had known the whole time. Her head was always under my left rib cage. And by Wed blood pressure started to sky rocket so yep C-SECTION!!!! I'll spear you all the details but lets just say I thought I was going to die and I never intend to do it again. Yes this means I am done having kids! Eviee will be my one and only. Sean already has three other children so four kids is more then enough. I want to be able to give Eviee everything and lets face it, it's a lot easier to do that with one kid. So Thursday July 14 at 5:44 p.m. Eviee Rae Brazil was born. Weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 18 1/2 inch's long. And absolutely the most beautiful child I have ever seen!

(I know all moms say that about their kids) ;) We came home three days later and life has been so wonderful since! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing man in my life. Sean is the best husband and is the most wonderful father. And let me tell you Eviee definitely has her daddy wrapped around her little finger and I LOVE IT!

(She has me wrapped too) :) Eviee has been a wonderful baby. She is so happy and easy going. (She got that from her dad for sure lol) She is just a joy to have. Its almost like I cant remember my life before her. Eviee will be two months old tomorrow. I now know what it truly means when people say time flys by so fast. I never understood that really until they placed her in my arms. Ever since that moment I feel like months only last for weeks and weeks only last for days and days only last for minutes. "SIGH" TIME PLEASE SLOW DOWN!!!! my camera goes all day and night. I do not want to miss a moment of this sweet little girls life and I want to remember it always. Well I think that pretty well has everyone up to date until next time.