Monday, September 26, 2011

My journey...

OK so after reading a lot of my friends blogs and seeing them so open about their weight and their journey to loose it, I have decided to open up, spill the beans, and be 100% honest about my weight and my journey to loose weight and become healthy. I am going to dedicate Mondays to this.... I'm scared! I have never been completely honest with ANYBODY about my weight and how I feel but I'm going to change this starting now. This is the start of my life changing journey...

Today Monday Sept. 26,2011 and I currently weigh (DEEP BREATH) 260lbs!  I am 24 years old and I am very much overweight. (This is very hard for me to post) My weight has always been something I have had to deal with. I remember my parents would take me to the doctor to have all kinds of test ran because I was very much an overweight child. As a child I did not eat very much. (which was why my parents took me to the doctor, they thought something was wrong), I wish I could say that now. It's not like I sit on my butt all day and clean out the cabinets or anything like that, my BIG problem is that when I do sit down and eat I eat way to much!!!

About five or six years ago I decided that I needed to change my lifestyle. I did too. I quite eating all the crap food, and started eating healthy and exercising. This worked GREAT! I dropped 50 lbs in five months I think...something like that anyways. I felt great and for me I was shinny. For me I was skinny but still to the medical community I was overweight. But I was still going strong. I was determined that I was going to keep loosing. Then... I met Sean. The love of my life!!! Well you know how it is when you start dating. You go out to eat ALL THE TIME!!! Well I have to admit for three months straight we ate out!!! And I love fried food! (What southern girl doesn't LOL) I remember the day before we went out on our first date I went shopping of course. I bought three pairs of jeans size 14! Now I know for most of you that's still FAT and yea it is but FOR ME IT WAS SKINNY!!!! I was so happy!!! Honestly could not tell you that last time I fit in a size 14. I cried in the dressing room. My hard work was paying off.

Well after three months of eating out I could no longer fit into my size 14 jeans. NOT AT ALL!!! Try a size 18!!! In three months all my hard work went right down the drain. And I wasn't too determined to jump back on the band wagon either. I was happy, and happy people eat right??? LOL Over the next year too year and a half I slowing continued to gain weight. Every couple of months I would start a new diet, do really good on it for a few weeks loose some weight and then just stop. I could loose maybe 20 lbs and that was it. So I would get sick of trying and I would gain that weight back and then some.

 I have two older sisters and a younger brother all of which are skinny. Why me??? That's what I always said to myself... Why me? The day I had my daughter I weighed (ANOTHER DEEP BREATH OK MAYBE TWO) 287 lbs!!! In under four years I gained over 100 lbs and only 53 of that was do to my pregnancy!!! Now I do have to say that two months after the birth of my baby girl I have dropped 27 lbs but once again I am at a stand still.

I remember talking to a friend one night just about how I wanted to loose weight. I think I was trying to get her to be my diet partner or something anyways I told her that I wanted to loose weight and she laughed at me. "Really she said" "but why" "you have a boyfriend". For her she just wanted "a boy" (considering we were teenagers) to like her. Well yes I had a boyfriend ive had my fair share of relationships but I didn't just want some boy to like me. I feel the same way now that I did then and that is I could care freaking less if someone likes me... I just want to like myself. Sean (my husband) he is so wonderful. He is always telling me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am and that makes me feel wonderful but what I want is too number one be healthy and number two I want to be able to look in the mirror and feel beautiful and sexy!

As I said I have been fighting this my whole life and will continue to fight this as long as I live so I have made a life changing decision. I have decided to get "The Lap Band".

The Lap Band is an adjustable silicone ring that is surgically inserted and places around the upper part of your stomach. The ring is connected by a tube to an access port just below the skin. Through this port the doctor is able to make adjustments to the band based on how tight or loose I need it. The Band will reduce my stomach capacity and restrict the amount of food I am able to eat at one time. With this band I will feel full sooner and stay full longer. All in all most people loose on average 2-4 lbs a weeks. This is a lifetime tool. I will never have to have it removed unless I want it. I will have the band around my stomach and will be able to control my eating habits for the rest of my life.

Thursday I go see my doctor, there is a scope procedure done prior to having the band put on to ensure nothing is wrong with my stomach. Once my doctor gets the results that everything is A OK then I will schedule my surgery. I am so excited and am so happy to be making this change. This time next year I will be a much lighter healthier woman able to chase my will be one year old daughter around the playground, not just sitting on the bench. I am ready!!! I am ready for this journey.

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