Fair warning. This post is going to be all over the place.
So its 5:11 am and I've been up for a while now. Its been a long time since I wasn't able to sleep and I think it's because I just have so much anxiety lately. We are moving in to the new house this Saturday which that alone has me full of all kinds of emotions (good and bad). Our current house is an absolute mess and has been for the last few weeks because of packing. I really just can't get used to a "dirty" unorganized house, it's just not in my blood. LOL. I am counting down the hours until we are settled and I feel comfortable and safe in the new house. I know it will take alot my anxiety away.
I mentioned in my last post that there may or may not be a new addition in to our family. Let me just say that it seriously cracks me up by how many people thought I was having another baby. I do not have many "followers" to my blog but I link it up to FB and goodness did I get some messages after that post. Y'all seriously not everything is about babies LOL. No the new addition will be a dog. We had a poodle which I loved. She was my first baby but around the time Eviee turned 2 months we started noticing that she seemed to be having problems breathing around Lola (our poodle) and so we just thought it would be best for her to go live with my MIL until we could be sure of it. Well needless to say right after Lola left us Eviee was doing great so we just gave Lola to my MIL and haven't really given much thought to another dog since, that is until I had this dream (14 months later Eviee has no problems being around dogs)
I do not dream very often and if I do I don't remember them but this dream I remembered all to well and it has had my stomach in knots ever since. This dream has played over and over in my head at least 100 times. I can not seem to forget it and it seriously has me so shaken up.( I am not going to say what happened as I do not want offened anyone nor do I want to write it out but it was awful) Before telling Sean about it in detail and even more so after, I decided that we needed to think about safety. Honestly I never really given much thought to it other then are my doors and windows locked but now I am seriously thinking about it and problary over thinking it but. My first thought was getting an alarm system. So we have research and decided on what we will get but I also decided that we need a dog. A big dog! Simply because dogs will hear things way before you do and there is just something comforting about that. We want a dog that will make a great family dog but also a great protector. I love my little poodle but she would just lick you to death or maybe bite your ankles LOL. So I have been researching dogs left and right and I believe we are going to go with a boxer. I have a boxer/pit mix that I have had since I was 15. (she is at my parents house) She was 4 months old when we got her and she has been the best dog ever! She is such a great family dog and protector. Which is two very common traits I'm boxers and actually in pits but due to the stereo type pits have we will not be getting a pit. (its funny how things change when you have kids. I LOVE LOVE LOVE pits and so does Sean. We both truly believe it is all in how you raise them as to how they will turn out. I mean if I wanted to I could turn a lab or poodle into a fighting dog but my love for pits does not even began to come close to the love I have for my daughter and Sean's children and we just simply can not take that chance). So that is our new addition as soon as we get settled in we will find a boxer for our family. A puppy so that we can raise it with Eviee and Sean's kids.
Speeching of babies I swear the next person to ask me if we are going to have another baby I am going slap. I totally understand why people want to know and I myself used to be one of those people who was always asking and I still ask from time to time but I now know why it is so annoying. At least once a week someone either ask if we are going to have another baby or tells me we have to have another baby. Even the older kids. If I tell them I have a surprise they think its a new baby. Umm no it was just we're going out for ice cream darn it!!!! I get it I really do but people you just have no idea unless you have been in my shoes. Ok my whole life all I ever wanted was to have a child of my own and the first shot at that ended in a miscarriage. I finally got my perfect little angel that I longed for my whole life. She is everything I ever wanted and more. After I had Eviee I had another miscarriage. So this is what I have to say so that you know and I don't have to slap you. My husband and I are both loving and enjoying our time with Eviee. She fills our hearts with so much love that right now we can not imagine having another child, nor do we want to take the chance and possibly having yet another miscarriage. We want to give Eviee the world. But we are both logical people and know that one day we may change our minds and decide that Eviee needs another full blooded sibling to actually grow up with. That being said when Eviee turns two we will sit down and discuss another baby. If at that time we both still do not want another child Sean will go get the ol snippety snip. If however we BOTH decided we do want another one then there shall be another baby Brazil. But in the meantime I have the right to change my mind as many times as I want with out judgement from you. I can pin as many pins as I want on pinterest about all things baby without your mind trailing off thinking "yep she's gonna have another one". And I deserve you to respect my choice no matter what it is. I am a grown ass woman who is married to love of my life. We have the prefect marriage with plenty of love for another child whether it is planned or not. I normally do not speech of money but because I have heard it from one two many people we make more damn money then alot of people and trust me we can afford alot more then we lead you to believe so mind your own damn business. Whew.... just saying that really makes a girl feel better.
I guess I will reserve the rest for another post. HAHA!!!!
Really though writing this blog really does make me feel better. Especially when I have something that I need to say but don't want to piss someone off. I write it on here and they read it and sit and think to themselves "is she talking about me"? Yep I am! Now shut your mouth!!!!
Hope y'all have a good day!!!! Im off to get ready for my Lap Band appt.