It's 4 in the morning and I have been wide awake since 2! Eviee woke up and ever since I just have been unable to sleep. Do you ever have those mornings? I have them all the often but for the most part my body is used to it and it doesn't bother me like this morning. I have gotten so much done already and most people are still dreaming away.
I finally crawled out of bed at 345 when I realized I was indeed not going back to bed. I went and made coffee of course and breakfast because oddly enough I felt like I was striving! Then sat down and did my morning devotional. I don't know about you but the days I wake up and put God first, my day is so much better. I feel like I have more balance. I love those kinds of days. And today I need that. I start a new journey in my life today. A new chapter. A new chapter for myself but also a new chapter for Eviee. I am going back to work today.
We have been looking for a Mothers Day Out program for Eviee to attend in the fall once or twice a week and it just happened that the center we had decided on was looking for a few more hands. I am excited. I am excited for a change. I am excited for Eviee and myself to make new friends. I am excited to see where The Lord takes this new chapter of our life.
But with the excitement I also have a little mama worry going on. I am worried about Eviee. Not for normal reasons. I trust that she will be safe. I know that she will be happy. She can not wait to go and play with all of her "friends". I know she will eat her lunch. I know that she will take a nap. I know that she will be sweet to everyone. I know that her teachers are going to love her. While I know all of this the only thing ok two things I worry about is one even though I know she is going to have a blast I worry that she is going to think that I just "left" her. She and I will be apart for six hours twice a week during the summer and then three days a week during the school year. She has not been away from me for more then a few hours spread out over the course of 7 months. So I worry. And I worry about me. Even though I will be working I will miss seeing that silly little girl. I will miss watching her discover new things. I will miss watching her dance. I will miss listening to her sing. I will miss kissing those little cheeks. I will miss telling her "Mommy loves you Eviee" any chance I get and hearing the sweetest little voice say "I luv you too mama". (now I am tearing up)
But during all those "I will miss" and I am still very excited! God is so good. He choose this chapter of our lives and I will see what he has planned.